Single and Set Apart

Gosh, I've gone back and forth.  To post or not to post?  When I started this blog, I really had no idea which direction I wanted it to take.  I read others that I loved but never wanted to be seen as a copy cat or to tie myself down to one particular topic.  That being said, up to this point, my posts have been primarily depthless and lacking in any sort of emotional vulnerability.  I've been contemplating posting on this topic for a while.  Not because I'm embarrassed but because I want to be sure to in no way come across as whiney or needy.  So, here goes:

I'm 26 and single.  Single as a dollar bill.

To some, this may seem like no big deal.  Twenty-six?  You're young!  You have your whole life to be married -- enjoy it!  But, if you lived in my town, you'd be singing a different tune.  Most of my friends were married off by 23, at the latest, and are working on kid number 1 or 2.  It's been such a blessing to stand beside them through these moments and watch them become wives and mothers.  I'm in awe of what incredible strength they've had as they learned to transition into adulthood.  And, as happy as I've been to watch them, it's hard for my heart not to ache.  Just a little.

When I was 16, my mom encouraged me to start praying for my future husband.  So, I did (and have, ever since).  I prayed that God would continually prepare our hearts for one another, that He would keep us from giving ourselves away (emotionally and physically) to others too freely, and that He would prepare my husband to be a Godly spiritual leader in our home.  In addition to that prayer, I also hesitantly prayed that God would keep that person out of my life romantically until my heart was fully surrendered to Him.  What did I mean by that?  Well, I knew myself well enough to know that I would struggle greatly with juggling my relationship with God and my relationship with a boyfriend.  I wasn't spiritually mature enough to handle both, and I wanted to wait for that relationship until I was ready.

For some perspective:

I grew up in the most beautiful Christian home.  I knew instantly that I was loved by many.  Great parents, sweet siblings (most of the time...), and solid friends.  We had an amazing and thriving church home.  I accepted Christ at the age of 8 and have never regretted that decision.  Because of my upbringing and early decision to follow Christ, I never went through some earth-shattering transformation.  My Christian journey has been a steady climb to know and love God more.  Now, that in no way means that I haven't made mistakes or struggled with my walk.  I have and will continue to.  I'm flawed -- ridiculously flawed, but covered by the grace of God in Christ Jesus.  However, just like all believers, I've gone through "mountains and valleys."  Those peaks and drops in our spiritual lives.  As a teenager, I was searching for God and wanting so desperately to know Him more, and I knew that I just wasn't ready to share my heart with anyone else.  It needed to be fully surrendered to Christ before that time came.

If you only knew how many times I've shamefully regretted that prayer.  Because, let me tell you, do not ask for something you are not prepared to receive.  God hears our prayers.  Can I get an amen?

Over the past few years, I've had many opportunities as a single lady.  I can't tell you how many weekend getaways I've taken with girlfriends or my family.  This past summer, I spent three weeks in Germany with my best friend.  I'm able to share my time and my energy in ways that a lot of my friends would never have the chance to.  I'm blessed.  So blessed.  And, I know that God has purposed this time in my life to give me those opportunities and to grow in relationship with Him.  This past year, especially, has taught me that.  God has begun to grow new things in my heart, and I'm humbled by His mercy and faithfulness.

I really have no idea what direction God has for my life.  I have always believed that He has my heart set apart for someone.  He has put such a desire in me to be a wife and a mother that there must be someone out there.  That He has known all along, if it were in my hands, I'd find a way to royally mess it up.  However, this maturity has brought along with it the understanding that, upon accepting Christ, I was set apart for Him.  I don't need to worry over the things that God already has under control.  My life's purpose is to seek Him above all else.  My heart must be fully surrendered to His will and His purpose.  My focus must be on His goodness and His grace.  My prayer into this upcoming year is to handle my singleness with great joy and poise, understanding that God is good, and He is always right on time.

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I'm loving an awful lot this Wednesday.  Heading back to work this week has been such a smooth transition, and I'm just loving my precious 2nd graders.  So sweet!  

A few weeks ago, I discovered the She Reads Truth Bible study community.  Holy smokes!  This was seriously an answer to prayer.  My typical devotion time usually meant I would pick a book of the Bible. Read it through. Pray for understanding/application. The end.

Now, I have a community with a purpose and a focus.  The current study is called Fresh Start, and it is the absolute perfect way to begin this year.  If you haven't joined in, do it.  Do it right now.  This is not a request.

Y'all, this is seriously the best.  Am I engaged?  No.  Am I even in a relationship?  Negative.  Can a girl dream?  Of course!  Southern Wedding Magazine is full of some of the most glorious pictures I have ever seen, and they just keep outdoing themselves every issue.  Plus, I am throwing a baby shower in a few months, and I can always get party planning ideas and color schemes.  One of my goals for 20-13 is to read more.  Don't worry, I'm not counting this as one of my ten.  But, it sure does help me unwind after a long day at school.

Monogrammed everything.  Everything.

My mom and I started Weight Watchers online last week, and I'm having a lot of success, so far.  I realize that it's just that big initial water weight, etc. loss, but I've lost 7 lbs.   Long way to go, but not too shabby!  Not only do I really like the flexibility and recipe options of the program, but it's so great to have my sweet mama as an accountability and exercise partner.  

My new blog design!  New year, new blog.  Leslie at Sweetie Baby's Designs was such a pleasure to work with, and I highly recommend!  

Self explanatory.  Roll Tide!

Have a blessed week, friends!

13 in '13

Last year, a friend of mine decided to do a "25 while I'm 25" list, which I really liked.  She came up with some pretty ambitious stuff and actually accomplished most of it.  I have to admit...I was a little jealous.  Soo....I've decided to create a "13 in 2013" list...slightly less intense than a 25 in 25, but still.

This isn't something I sat down and wrote in an hour.  I've been working on this post for a while, trying to make sure that I was actually listing stuff that would either be a push out of my comfort zone or some sort of serious accomplishment.  Not all are super exciting or earth-shattering, but they are all goals that I'm asking each of YOU to hold me to.  Here it goes...

1.  Reach 100 followers by December 2013.

2.  Visit Charleston!!  I have literally traveled every other inch of the southeast, but I have not ever been to Charleston.  South Carolina - yes.  Charleston - no.

3.  Lose 30 pounds and KEEP IT OFF!  I know, I know...everyone has big weight loss ambitions at the beginning of the year.  But, ladies, I've done it before.  In fact, I did it two years ago, but did I keep it off?  No, I did not.  This year, I want it to stay away, permanently.

4.  Learn how to take decent pictures.  I got a Nikon D5100 for Christmas, and I plan to use it in a big way this upcoming year.

5.  Save 20% of my income.  Yes, 20%.  This will not be easy.

6.  Visit my sister in college at least once every two months.

7.  Send snail mail letters....with cute monogrammed cards, of course

8.  Go to an Alabama football game.  This is shamefully embarrassing, but, as big a fan as I am, I've never actually been to a game.  I watch them.  Every single one of them.  But, I've never been in person.  I had great intentions this year that just didn't pan out.  Sigh...

9.  Become more involved with my new church and Sunday school class.  I'm so thrilled to have found a place that feels like home, and I really want to be used in some capacity.

10.  Reconnect with a long lost cousin.  She's really not too "long lost" but we haven't seen each other in over a year.  We used to have a great relationship...I was her maid of honor!  But, we both have been busy and have let that become such an excuse.  She only lives three hours away, so it's really kind of pathetic.  It's one of those situations where it's easy to claim that communication works both ways, but, as I'm really starting to learn, sometimes you just have to suck it up, be the bigger person, and make things happen.

11.  Attend a Paint Your Art Out at the local Visual Arts Center (fun girls' night!)

12.  Read 10 books.  Any suggestions?  I'm a Nicholas Sparks nut and have read them all...

13.  Set a Christlike example.  By far, this will be my biggest obstacle.  I know this one is definitely not "measurable,"but it's more of a challenge I'm setting for myself.  I think in the past few years, I've really gotten lazy.  I'm not involved in any type of ministry right now, since I've been moving around and looking for a new church home.  But, I'm ready to get settled and would really like to pour my life into others and be used.  This, of course, would require total and complete commitment, starting with my daily attitude.

My Monogrammed Christmas

It is no secret to my friends and family that I'm completely obsessed with monograms.  Thankfully, they kept this in mind while Christmas shopping for me this year!  Here's a quick look:

I've been wanting a DSLR for several years now but didn't know where to get started.  Early in December, my brother purchased one of these for himself, and I was hooked.  It went straight to the top of my list, and I feel so blessed to have one of these bad boys.  Now...if I could just figure out how to use it...

Jacket, scarf, phone case, and cups...so fun!

These are itty bitty and so cute

And these...they're ginormous...  Seriously, huge and heavy, but they're great statement pieces.

I felt very blessed this Christmas.  Not because of the presents sitting under the tree but because I was surrounded by my amazing family.  I know so many who really struggled this year, including a friend whose newlywed husband passed away unexpectedly.  As 2013 approaches, it is a sobering reminder that we are not guaranteed tomorrow.  For each year that passes, we need to truly be grateful for the things we so often forget:  healthy families, a warm home, a job, food on the table, strong friendships.  I have no idea what 2013 holds for me and my loved ones, but I do know Who holds it all in His very capable hands.  I am thankful to have a Savior that has my best interest at heart, all the time.  We may not understand every decision He makes, but we can be sure that nothing that happens is by accident or goes unnoticed.  Glory be to God!

Monday

I woke up this morning completely unsure of how my day would go. After the events of last Friday, I didn't know what to expect. All weekend long, I have been immersed in the news and pain, to the point that I've just had to shut the t.v. and my mind off. But it just doesn't stop. The constant, nagging sadness. As an elementary teacher, this has hit closer to home than I was prepared for. I remember Columbine. I was in the 8th grade. I clearly and distinctly recall watching the news and seeing the pictures, terrified to return to school, while still knowing that I'd be sheltered in the protective bubble of my family and friends and church.

This time, it's different. It's personal. As a 2nd grade teacher, I feel this on a totally different level. As a middle schooler, I wondered how I'd protect myself. As a teacher, I wonder what I'd do if I, God forbid, were ever faced with such a situation. I visualized it countless times this past weekend, how I'd shelter my students. Protecting them no matter the cost. This isn't something that a teacher should have to prepare for. This isn't something that students should have to fear. I went to sleep last night, not knowing what the kids might ask. What they might say. To me. To each other. And then, Monday morning came...

I got to work early today. I turned on the computer. Prepared morning work. Fixed desk arrangements. Picked up fallen name tags. Checked my lesson plans and my email. Saw the encouraging note from our principal about using good judgment and sheltering the youngest ears from any scary discussions (also, about the crackdown on our school safety plans). Prepped for the afternoon Christmas craft. Promptly, at 7:30, my littles entered the room. MY babies. And...everything was business as usual. They were happy, sheltered, innocent of what had happened. They were excited, smiley 7 year olds.  They worked hard all day, and, not once was a single bit of the news mentioned.  I'm humbled by the sweet parents in my classroom that love on their children so much and work so hard to shelter and protect their precious minds. We spent the day in complete Christmas bliss. And, at the end of the day, I hugged them each a little longer and tighter, feeling so gracious that I have the opportunity to spend my days with them.

The pain from Connecticut isn't going to go away overnight. My prayers are constantly directed toward the families and friends feeling this more deeply than any others.  My prayer is that, somehow through this tragedy, others might come to know the power of the Creator.  That God's presence would be felt by those hurting in ways we can't even imagine and that they would be drawn to Him. That God would use this unspeakable act of terror to show others just how mighty and beautiful it is to follow after Him. And, as followers of Christ, I pray that we would be reminded of the glory that is to come:

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. -Revelation 21:4

A Little Late...But Still Thankful

I have started and retyped this post several times now, only to come to the conclusion that I'm not exactly sure what I want to say.

Today was special.  A good Thanksgiving.

That's not to say that any in the past have been any less special.  But, today was different (or, at this point, yesterday...).

This Thanksgiving was spent at my Aunt's house.  There was a lot of food and a lot of family.  Of course, it wouldn't be a family gathering without a bit of drama thrown in, as well.  But, this year was different because we had a guest.  My best friend.

Nicole's presence at our Thanksgiving event is probably what has prompted my whole "self-reflection."  To say that she has had it rough in the past would be the understatement of the century.  Growing up, I was sheltered.  Sheltered by my amazing, loving, God-fearing family.  I lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood.  There was always food on the table, and I never heard my parents talking about their financial troubles.  We were at church every Sunday and most Wednesdays.  I accepted Christ at the ripe old age of 8.  I knew I was loved.  We traveled.  A lot.  My mom would check over my homework each and every night.  I had it made in the shade and didn't even know it.

Not only did I grow up this way but so did most of my friends.  Of course, the older you get, the more and more you realize that not everything is shiny and perfect, like it seemed when you were a kid.  But, really, in my own little bubble, things were good.

Nicole and I became friends almost four years ago.  Our friendship grew quickly, even though we are polar opposites.  She was a new Christian and was seeking friends who would encourage her in her walk with Christ.  We were in a small group Bible study together, and, for whatever reason, she started to confide in me.  She told me things about her life growing up.  Things that chilled me to the bone.  Heartbreak after heartbreak.  Over several months, her trust in me turned into a truly beautiful friendship that I am ever grateful for.  She slowly became not just a close friend, but a part of my family.  My parents started thinking of her as their third daughter.  She was, essentially, "adopted."

Since the beginning of our friendship, she has witnessed her parents fly back to her home country of Germany and her father pass away.  She has learned about the struggles of finding a teaching job in this economy.  She has had to pick herself up, dust herself off, and humble herself before others, hoping to find a decent place to live on a meager salary.  She has developed into an amazing Christ-like woman.  I know that God isn't finished writing her story.  I know that He has great things in mind for her.  I know that He has allowed her to walk down this path, so that her story could bring Him glory.  And, I know that one day He will reveal His grand purpose to her.

In the meantime, she will continue to be a vital part of my family, making it more precious with her presence.  That was definitely the case today.  Today, she helped me to remember to be thankful for all of my many blessings.  But, more importantly, she reminded me of how thankful I am for God placing her in my life.

So, Nicole, when you read this, please realize how much you've blessed my life and how deeply and sincerely I thank God for our friendship.

Two Weekends In Pictures

I have been B-U-S-Y lately.  The good kind of busy, though.  Like, awesome-plans-every-weekend busy.  And, it doesn't look like things are about to slow down any time soon.  Annual family mountain trip this weekend.  FSU football game the next.  So on and so forth.  It's weekend events like this that keep my week moving and make me LOVE this time of year!

Two weekends ago, I spent a girls' weekend with two of my favorite people in Atlanta.  We spent Saturday up in Blue Ridge, GA, and had an absolute blast riding the train and visiting Mercier's Apple Orchard.  This past weekend was a bit more relaxing, so I decided to whip up a few Pinterest recipes I've been dying to try.  Here are my weekends in pictures:

Blue Ridge train that took us to McCaysville, GA/Copperhill, TN.

My train buddy :)

Best fran

My beautiful friend, Karen, and her sweet girl.  Ice cream solves every problem in a four year-old world...

Oh, yes...and cotton candy is great for bribery

The picture does not do it justice.  Mercier's Apple Orchard :)

Pecan Pie Cobbler

Slow Cooker Maple Pumpkin Latte

The oh, so good finished product!

How have you spent your October weekends?